


broken hearts and moving on

by orphan_account



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M, issa secret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-20 01:56:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: basically what i would like to happen when callum returns.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 7
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

"Stu, I'm home!" Callum set his bag on the floor, before slipping off his shoes. The flat was bare. All the decorations had been taken down, leaving an empty shell of a small room. There wasn't a person in sight. Callum sighed to himself, slumping to the fridge. He opened the door, growling with frustration. Stuart had finished all of his beers, and even drunk the wine that Callum was going to take to Ben's house for a thank you gift. He couldn't even down a £30 bottle of wine to drown his sorrows. He slipped his shoes back on, and set off for the Vic.

Callum swung open the doors, not knowing what to expect when he walked in. He had only been gone for 2 weeks or so, but without Ben it seemed like a lifetime. He was praying to himself that Ben wasn't sitting at the bar, and he was in luck when he spotted Stuart and Rainie sipping on their beverages.

"Callum, mate when did you get back?" Stuart grinned, swallowing Callum in a big hug. "I've missed you."

"Just now, was gonna stay at home but then I found out you had cleared the fridge." Callum giggled, which was a little bit forced as he was annoyed.

"What you having?" Stuart turned to the bar, holding a £10 note in his hand.

"A pint please Stu." Stuart called Linda over, who served Callum a pint. Stuart pushed the remainder of the change over to Callum. Callum looked at Stuart in confusion. "This ent my money Stu its yours."

"Take it." With that, Callum shook his head before sweeping the money off the bar, and sticking it in his pocket. "We just gonna sit 'ere and pretend everythings okay then?"

"Stuart!" Rainie gasped, slapping his arm.

"Ouch!" Stuart rubbed his hand over the tingling spot on his arm.

"No he's right Rainie. Look Stu, I love Ben. He shot me down though, told me to find someone else to love." Callum swiped his fingers over the condensation of the glass, not daring to look Stuart in the eyes.

"Then that's what you've got to do!" Rainie bounced. "Come on, drink up!" She tugged on Callum's arm, causing a small drop of beer to come over the edge of the glass. He tilted his head back, and downed the remainder of his drink, before following Rainie and Stuart back to the flat.

"I don't think I'm ready for this Rainie." Callum put his head in his hands, clearly stressed out.

"Course you are, and besides, if you sit 'ere moping all day you may never find someone else again!"

"So you just thought you would set me up a profile for a gay dating site."

"Try it, and you'll be thanking me when you get loads of tottie." Rainie giggled, before skipping off to find Stuart. Callum sighed and looked down at his phone. The home page of the site greeted him. The screen displayed a set of instructions, basically telling him how to use the site, what to do if he gets a match, blah blah blah (i wont waffle on), and Callum swiped left. Before him was a set of profiles. The profiles of people who he could choose from. The first guy was blonde. His skin was tanned, and he had a six pack, something that Ben didn't have. His face was nice, and had a small amount of stubble. Callum swiped yes to this man. The screen exploded with the message 'YOU HAVE A MATCH! MEET JAMIE' Callum rolled his eyes at the cringy message, and clicked the 'x'. He was met with another profile. This time the man was a brunette, had sparkling white teeth, and overall was very handsome. Callum would admit, this guy was very attractive, and very fit. He swiped yes on this guy aswell, again being greeted with ' YOU HAVE A MATCH! MEET SIMON!'. He wasn't sure why, but Callum found himself typing out a message to his new match.

_To Simon - Hi my name's Callum._

Callum winced as he read his text over. He wasn't very good at this whole dating thing. He was about to give up, when his phone chimed.

From Simon - Hello Callum, is it illegal to look this fit, or am I gonna have to arrest you ;)

Callum felt himself blush a little. Was that a compliment? He was confused. "Rainie?" Callum called. Rainie ran into the room. "Help." Callum held the phone out to Rainie. He watched for a minute, before she blurted out "Really? Hello I'm Callum? Is that the best you could do?" She mocked him, giggling to herself. Callum snatched his phone back.

"Well what shall I do then?"

"Type 'only if you use the handcuffs daddy'."

"I am not typing that!" Callum felt himself go bright red.

"Just do it Callum! Trust me!" She reached for his phone, ready to type the message herself, before Callum picked up his phone and tapped in the message. He turned off the screen, before his phone instantly chimed again. "Go on." Rainie urged. Callum unlocked his phone not expecting the text he had received. 

_From Simon - Well, Callum, meet me tonight? Where's your local?_

_To Simon - The Prince Albert, Walford._

He didn't think about what he was typing until it was sent.

"Well?" Rainie grinned, hopeful.

"I've got a date." Callum gave a small smile. He didn't think it would be that easy. He sat there, smirking to himself for a while, before his thoughts trailed back to Ben. 'I don't love you' echoed through his mind. Callum had opened up to him that night, and Ben had shot him down, again. Not gonna happen again. Callum was sick of being used as a doormat. He already tried to prove his strength to Ben by beating up Leo, and now he was going to prove to Ben that he isn't weak, and that he can love others. He was going to prove Ben wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

"You heard Callum's back on the square?" Jay poked his head round the door, taking a glance at Ben, who was slumped over the desk.

"Who?" Ben gave Jay a stiff smile.

"You don't have pretend you're over him. I know you too well." Jay sighed.

"I ain't pretending Jay, anyway haven't you got dead people to bury?" Ben eyeballed Jay for what seemed like minutes, before he saw Jay disappear behind the door, which shut seconds after. Ben took a deep breath in. Now that Callum was back, he had to avoid crossing paths with him, and he knew there was one place Callum wouldn't go. Not if he still loved Ben. Ben pulled his phone from his blazer pocket, and found his Mum's contact. He quickly typed out a message.

_To Mum - You open tonight?_

Callum sunk down into the couch, his eyes fixed on his phone. He was waiting for Simon to message, confirming their plans for tonight. It had been 2 hours since they had arranged the date, and as much as Callum wanted Ben, he was desperate for that message. He played with his fingers, picking at his cuticles, before his phone chimed loudly.

_From Simon - What time then? x_

_To Simon - 8pm sound okay? x_

_From Simon - See you then babe x_

Callum felt a little clueless. In all fairness, he had never really been out on a proper date with man. Sure, he went out with Ben, but they were already boyfriends from the words 'I'm gay', which Callum had told his Dad. This was his first time with a man, starting from scratch, and he was determined to do things right. There was just one thing he needed to do first.

Ben was staring endlessly at the huge pile of paperwork on his desk, when he heard the door creak open.

"Only me." Callum spoke, so quiet Ben could hardly hear him.

"Callum, I didn't know you were back." Ben lied, trying not to wrap his arms around Callum in excitement.

"Got back a few hours ago. Just wanted to tell you something first." Callum crossed his arms across his chest.

"Tell me what?" Ben felt his heart drop, scared of what he might hear.

"I ent training to be a copper anymore." Callum sighed, his breath shaky.

"What? But you were so passionate about that!" Ben gasped, completely shocked.

"Decided it weren't for me I guess."

"I knew it, I already broke you, Callum you go join the force and I'll-"

"I have a criminal record Ben, they wouldn't let me in even if I tried." Callum blurted out. Gloating about his fight wasn't what he wanted to do, more like he wanted to prove he wasn't weak and could fight his own battles.

"Criminal record? How?" Ben felt himself tear up a little, in complete disbelief.

"ABH, let's just say Leo had it coming to him."

"So you assaulted Leo? What is wrong with you?!" Ben felt like Callum's parent, lecturing him about whats right and wrong.

"Don't act like Mr.Perfect Ben! All you've ever done is think I'm weak! I can fight my own battles, and I proved that by hitting Leo! I don't need you!" And with that, Callum turned and slammed the door, as a gush of wind smacked Ben in the face. Brilliant, Ben thought. Absolutely brilliant.


	3. Chapter 3

Callum nervously wandered through the doors of the Prince Albert. It was just before 8pm, and the music was pumping loudly throughout the bar. Crowds of people gathered around small tables blocked the back of the bar, however Callum was able to spot a small booth right next to the bar. He quickly claimed the table, and sat picking at his fingers, awaiting Simon's arrival. Callum felt nervous. This was the first date with a man that wasn't Ben. It felt wrong. Callum felt as if he was cheating on Ben, but quickly reminded himself that Ben had ended things. Callum pulled out his phone to a message.

_From Simon - Where are you sexy?_

A smile grew on Callum's face. He glanced up to see a tall figure, handsome and toned in the doorway. Simon was fit, and didn't resemble Ben one bit. Whilst Ben was small, Simon was tall. Ben wasn't muscly, Simon was toned and defined. There was no part of Simon that would ever remind him of Ben. Callum waved over Simon, who wrapped his arms around Callum, pulling him in for a hug. Callum could feel his six pack through his white shirt. Simon smelt completely different to Ben. There was a muskiness but sweetness to Simon that Ben simply didn't have. Simon sat down, quite far from Callum.

"Glad you could make it." Grinned Callum.

"So am I, you look amazing by the way." Simon gestured. Callum glanced down at the shirt he was wearing. It was an old grey shirt, with some jeans. Nothing special.

"You too, wanna drink?" Callum pulled his wallet from his jeans, and pulled out a £10 note.

"Any cocktail on the menu, you pick." Callum got up from the chair, and ordered a cocktail and a beer from the bar attendant. He carried the drinks over to the table, placing them down carefully. He sat back down, finding that Simon had moved further along the seat, closer to Callum.

"So, where abouts you from then?" Callum asked, trying to not make the night awkward.

"Outskirts of London, you from here I'm guessing?"

"Correct." Callum smiled, putting the beer bottle up to his lips and taking a swig. Through the glass of the bottle, he saw the door open. A familiar figure slumped into the building. Ben. Callum watched nervously as Ben scooted over to the bar and placed his order. His actions were interrupted as he felt a large hand on his knee.

"You don't mind do ya?" Simon asked nervously, not wanted to scare Callum.

"Not at all." Callum placed his hand on top of Simons, feeling the warmth of the unfamiliar hand. Simon's hand was slightly smaller than his own, just like Bens. Callum was too busy distracted to notice that Ben had locked onto him and Simon who were very close in the booth.

"Hmm, beer please." Ben ordered his drink at the bar, before taking a seat on the bar stool. He watched intently as he saw Simon stroking Callum's leg under the table. He continued as he dragged his foot up Callum's leg, which made Callum blush. Simon pulled Callum in, and whispered something into his ear, but obviously Ben couldn't hear what was being said. A raging fire lit inside of Ben's stomach. He was so stupid to let Callum leave. Callum was his and nobody elses. He felt himself stand up, and storm over to the booth.

"Ben!" Callum shuddered, scared of what his reaction may be.

"Are you cheating on me?" Ben blurted out.

"Ben what do you mean we aint even-"

"You are my boyfriend, and here you are out with other men?" Ben snapped. He glared at Simon intently. "You better leave, me and my man better get going too."

"Callum said he was single." Simon asked, confused.

"I am Simon." Callum pleaded, gripping Simon's hand, which was now visible on the table.

"Babe, we better get going." Ben repeated, this time sterner.

"Sorry Callum, I think there might've been some misunderstanding. I'll leave ya with your boyfriend. Nice meeting ya." Simon stood from the booth, and Ben grinned as he watched him disappear through the doors.

"Why would you do that?!" Callum demanded answers, and quick.

"You're so quick to move on!"

"Maybe because I'm not scared to love!" Callum pushed Ben backwards, not forcefully, but enough to make his stumble back a bit.

"I ain't scared of love. I just ain't suited for it, there's a difference!"

"Maybe if you weren't such a miserable git all the time like ya dad, you would find someone to love!" Callum felt the tears well up in his eyes. He blinked them away, not wanting to show Ben how he made him feel.

"I have found someone to love." Ben bit his lip. **Had he given too much away?**

"Let me guess, another hook up on that app of yours?" Callum shrugged, now exhausted. The blaring music was still playing, and their argument was unknown to the people surrounding them.

"No." Ben gritted through his teeth. All he wanted to do was hug Callum and never let him go. Ben felt himself go dizzy from being petrified. "It's you."


	4. Chapter 4

Callum couldn't do much except stare at Ben. For a moment, he forgot where he was. The blaring music was muted, he could only hear the blood rushing through his ears.

"Callum?" Ben asked, stretching his hand out, and touching Callum's forearm.

"Get off me." Callum shrugged Ben's hand away, and moved past him, pushing open the door. He turned back, seeing Ben stood still, still next to the booth. He barged past the number of people blocking the exit and propped himself up against the wall. Did he really just hear that? Ben Mitchell, finally telling the truth.

Ben shoved through the crowd of dancing people, walking past speakers screaming 'Dance Monkey' and other pop music. Ben was desperate to catch up with Callum. Ben still felt sick. He wasn't quite sure if it was the thought of Callum with Simon, or that he had finally told the truth. Either way, he felt as if he was going to puke, but swallowed hard, getting rid of the feeling.

Callum wasn't sure where he was planning on going, but he found himself walking through the square. He avoided the flat. Stuart and Rainie didn't expect him home for another 2-3 hours, plus he didn't want to walk in on something dodgy again. He remembered when Ben was round, and all they could hear was Stuart and Rainie from the other room. 'Big grizzly bear' was what Rainie would refer to Stuart as, which made Callum smile slightly. He recalled the morning after, Ben wrapping his arms around him, mocking Stuart's nickname. Callum found himself back at the Vic, where he was this morning. He pushed open the door, and to his surprise the pub was quite empty. Apart from Honey, Phil, Jay and Lola, there were no other people. Not even Mick and Linda. Odd.

"Callum! When did you get back?" Jay jumped from his seat. He saw the crooked look on Callum's face, and patted his shoulder. "Come and sit down." Jay guided Callum to the chair, and Callum took a seat.

"Seen Ben yet?" Lola asked daringly. She bit her lip as she saw Callum take a deep breath in.

"Just now, sabotaged my date." Callum looked down at the floor. He shuffled his feet about, trying to distract himself from the pain and regret of walking out on Ben.

"Callum, don't give up on him." The stern voice of Phil made Callum jump slightly.

"He doesn't want to be with me anymore Phil, theres nothing I can do." Callum felt his bottom lip tremble. His head dropped again, and a tear leaked down onto his cheek. With the back of his hand, he wiped it away, hoping nobody had noticed. "Excuse me." Callum abruptly stood from the chair, and rushed off to the bathroom.

Callum finished up in the bathroom, and stood staring at himself in the mirror. He stared at himself dead in the eyes, as he watched them glass over with tears. He let all emotions loose, before collapsing on the floor. As much as he tried to keep himself up, his legs gave up on him. He sat crying under the sink for what seemed that hours, before the door opened and closed. He quickly stood up, and came face to face with Phil.

"Callum, listen Ben's an idiot but he loves ya. Anyone can see that."

"He just told me he loved me, but it wasn't the same."

"Howd'ya mean?" Phils brow furrowed, clearly confused.

"Ever since I was younger, I always dreamed of the perfect romance. I always wanted the relationship to be perfect. I used to dream of dates, nights in watching movies and cuddling on the couch, trips out during Christmas. I got to experience all those with Ben. I loved every second of it. Suddenly he turned really weird and stopped telling me things. Just before he dumped me, he become an introvert. Didn't want to go out anywhere with me at least, always stayed indoors. He shut down on me. I thought it was my fault. My problem. So what did I do? I put even more effort in making sure he was happy. Next thing I know he doesn't love me and he walks off from me. I'm cursed Phil, first Chris, then Whit, and now Ben."

"Ben's hard work Callum, I'll talk to him, make him see sense." Phil shook Callum's shoulder slightly, before pushing past Callum. Callum edged out of the way, before slipping out of the bathroom. He wandered back over to the table, and spotted someone extra at the table.

"Callum, listen please." Ben pleaded.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben slowly stood from his chair, and edged towards Callum, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He reached his arm out taking hold of Callum's hand. Ben felt a tiny bit of relief when Callum didn't try to pull away. Ben placed his other hand on Callum's wet cheek, drying away the tears.

"Crying doesn't look good on you Cal." Ben smiled softly, as he looked desperately into Callum's ocean blue eyes. They drew him in further, until he found himself placing a soft kiss on Callums lips. It was only a slow peck, but Ben felt better when Callum once again didn't pull away. Their heads drew back from each other, and Ben built up the courage to finally say what he came here to say. "Cal, I know there's not many people in here, but I want them all to hear what I've got to say." Ben paused for a second, looking down at his fingers. He spun on his heel quickly and dashed behind the bar. He shouted up the stairs, and returned back to where Callum was stood. Seconds later, Mick and Linda rushed into the room, looking flustered. Linda was bright red, and Mick glanced towards the floor in shame.

"Really you two, couldn't wait till closing time!" Phil laughed, which shocked almost everyone who was there. Mick eyeballed Phil, before laughing to himself.

"Go on Ben." Lola prompted, jabbing her finger into his ribs.

"Alright Lola! Jeez." He squeezed at his side for a second, before continuing. "Listen Cal, I know I ent the easiest person to be with. Yes, I'm an idiot. I don't think about what I say or do, but for the past few weeks I've done a lot of thinking. About you, us. I was an idiot for ending things. As soon as you left, I just wanted to chase you, find out where you went. I missed you Cal. I still miss you. I miss our movie nights, or just holding each other in the morning instead of being productive. Or when you don't get your own way so you sulk for ages. I want that. I want you. I love you." Callum's hand tightened around Ben's. A small smile grew across his face.

"Yeah?" Callum whispered, in disbelief.

"Yeah." Ben wrapped his arm around Callum's neck, and pulled him in so their foreheads were touching. "Callum Highway, take me back?" Callum didn't say anything. Instead, he kissed Ben, a kiss that he had wanted to place for 2 weeks. Ben stood flustered for a second, not knowing what to say.

"My god, Ben Mitchell speechless for once!" Jay chuckled, raising his glass. "To Ben and Callum!"

"To Ben and Callum!" Lola and the others chanted. None of them realized the two men slipping out of the pub. Ben took Callum's hand and guided him down the alley. He pushed Callum against the wall, earning a small laugh from Callum himself. He pushed Callums back firmly against the wall, and kissed Callum again, this time full of passion and lust. The kiss was sloppy and wet, something both of the men had been longing for, for weeks. Ben could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He pulled away from Callum, looking at his face, which had tinted a slight shade of red.

"You're so sexy." Ben breathed out. He nuzzled into Callum's neck. A sneaky grin formed on Callum's face. 

"Ben wait. Not now. It's too soon for this." Ben pulled himself from Callum's neck. He pouted, but respected Callum. He reached out his hand, and they both returned to the Vic.

"You've been gone half an hour!" Lola spoke, giggling to herself.

"Drink both of you?" Both men nodded, and took a seat next to each other at the corner of the table. Devilish thoughts crept into Callum's mind. He turned his hand in his lap, extending his fingers slightly. Without drawing the attention of anyone else at the table, Callum moved his hand onto Ben's knee. Ben jumped slightly, not expecting the soft touch of Callum's hand. However, Ben had been a bad influence on Callum, so Callum definitely wasn't finished. He stroked his fingertips around Ben's knee, working his way across so he was caressing the inner part of Ben's thigh. Callum glanced up at Ben who's eyes fluttered closed, before trying to regain focus. Callum kept circling up Ben's leg until he was right next to Ben's crotch. He placed his palm over Ben's bulge, earning a soft moan from Ben.

"Ben you alright?" Quizzed Phil, who was confused over the sound.

"Uh yeah Dad, just happy to have my boyfriend back." Ben looked at Callum, and whispered "stop it, or you'll start something we can't finish."

"That's the point." Callum grinned. He slowly undid the zip on Ben's jeans and slipped his hand inside his jeans. He felt the cloth of his underwear over Ben's hardness. He wrapped around Ben's manliness as much as he could.

"God." Ben dropped his head to the table. Instantly, he lifted it up, trying not to seem suspicious. Callum could hear Ben's breathing rate increase, which made him smirk.

Callum lent close to his ear, and whispered with a deep scratchy voice "you shouldn't have lied to me Ben, this is your punishment." Callum began moving his hand up and down Ben's length, slow and painful. Ben shuffled around in his chair, trying to not catch the attention of his Dad who was opposite him. Callum sped up his movements, and he saw Ben bite down on his lip, hard. Callum could tell Ben was approaching his orgasm. Quickly, he slipped his hand out of Ben's jeans, doing up the zipper. 

"Cal, no." Ben whined. He reached for Callum's hand as pulled it back to his crotch. Callum could see Ben's cock through his jeans, prominent. His hand was resting on in for a while, before he felt Ben's leg shake against his. Callum grinned at Ben, who was trying to silence his orgasm best he could, without his family knowing what was going on beneath the table.

"That's all your getting from me all week, should've been honest with me." Callum returned to sipping on his beer, smiling and grinning at his devilish acts. Ben really had been a bad influence on him after all.


End file.
